No lie, first day was kinda awkward. I forgot how to make friends because I stuck with my usual friends for like the past half a decade, so making friends with loads of new people was pretty difficult for me.
I get like suuuuuperrrr anxious and self-conscious, so like hearing everyone talk in the corridors, I just sat in my room in my selfsome, missing out on it all from a worrying POV. I don't even know why I was afraid, I just was, maybe it was the fear of fitting in, or just that I was too shy to let myself out there. Didn't really go to the club for the first 2 weeks because I got rung up by my parents like every hour because they were always super worried and didn't want me hanging around with the wrong crowd and wouldn't like hearing boom-tsh boom-tsh music in a club. Thanks for the trust in your adult son MOTHER.
LOL naah I'm kiddin, I get her worriment, but still, she just had to chill.
The first 2 weeks were pretty meh, I met a few cool people but my social interaction was hardly anything. When I used to be at home, I didn't even do much there, I just sat in my room super enjoying my own time alone, surrounded by the sounds of siblings. Now it was pretty quiet, which I really wanted, it really felt like I was missing out. This "Uni experience" felt like a myth. Even made me feel kinda bad because I felt like I just wasn't trying, or I was just super unlucky.
Saw my flatmates every so and so whenever I went to the kitchen to microwave up some home-made curry from home (which I'm pretty sure went off at one point). Just kinda said "heyyy" and walked back in the asylum of my room. I did actually chill out with one of my old school best buds, Abu for a short while, and met his pretty cool cousin, and a few others, so it started getting better. Then twas one night I was in the kitchen with one of my flatemates, Asha just getting to know her. 2nd Uni buddy!. With one-on-ones I feel pretty good, I just focus on the one person and as long as they're friendly friendships form! Anyways, this guy followed me on Twitter a couple of months before I got to Uni, and said he was going to the same Uni as me so thought he might aswell get to know me. He really wanted to meet up with me, so he got his chance that one night. So he came over, was all sup-sup and was a pretty cool dude! Half Spanish half Pakistani, what a combo, lol.
Swishswish. I finally started to form my first Uni group with this dude, Sheroz. Then I really felt Uni kick in, slowly but surely.
Abu even came round at one point and helped make curry for me, it was a nice experience because the kitchen went a bit livelier because we did something as a group, finally. Him, me and Asha finally made something of the kitchen, besides a place to heat up insta-meals. I even sliced my thumb with the knife.. which was kinda humorous.. in a way.
A couple of days later I had met this one guy that just moved into our flat, a third year student who was basically the confident one that livened up the place. I just walk back from the lecture and see the kitchen with, surprise surprise: PEOPLE! Things seemed nicer :D
Then sitting down I saw a familiar face, a girl who I assumed was an exchange student from China because I never even spoke to her in the 2 weeks of Uni, just waved Hi, and Bye. She spoke and there was actual English, even a posh-ish accent. I was like, "oh, I thought you were oversees..". She was pretty smiley, like
most Chinese people are, so I used my one-on-one technique to just focus making friend with this girl, slowly broadening my friendships at this institute, and so soon, SHABBAM! Uni bud number 3, Sarah Chan!
And so I got these friends slowly, but was still super shy around like, everyone else that existed in this place because I couldn't one-on-one with them all. But I don't know what it was, but the more I just pushed myself to wake up and force myself to just set myself out there, the easier it became to make friends. It was so much easier having Uni Buds 1-3 around, and especially Abu, keeping my confidence up as an aura.
Yeah, this was pretty much the start to my Uni life I guess. It's been just about month at this point, but it wasn't all smooth sailing after that, there were negative things that went on, mostly a fight. Not an actual physical fight, but more of a fight between me and my inner self. That's right. Some deep shit right there.
It felt like there was my super happy confident old self stuck somewhere at the back of my head, but it had to battle it's way through a bunch of barriers set up by my own head to show itself to the world. Barriers mainly set up of emotions, all in my head.
But I'm proud to say, those barriers were soon gone. Just had to stay optimistic, there was always gonna be a bright end to my story, whether I have a say in it or not..
